Plot Twist... We're Pregnant!
One day we were talking about wedding planning... and then boom, the Universe had other plans.
Here's how it all happened:
First of all, everyone's #1 question is if we were trying to get pregnant, and the reality is that while we weren't exactly trying, we also weren't exactly preventing it. That however, goes a lot deeper than that so please, read on…
I went off birth control almost a year ago and it wasn't exactly for conception purposes. I had been on the NuvaRing since high school... so you could say that me and my birth control were basically high school sweethearts, until our 14+ year relationship became a toxic and abusive one. One day, after all that time together, I decided to explore other options because, well... I wasn't happy and I didn't feel like myself anymore. Yes, I'm still talking about birth control so follow along. I was experiencing symptoms that led me to believe that I WAS THE PROBLEM, and not once did I consider birth control could be the one to blame.
One day I felt a dire need to take some sort of control over my situation, but the Universe was already a step ahead of me. It never seizes to amaze me how the all the little things that don't seem to coincide, are incredibly connected in the bigger picture.
We had gone out to brunch with some friends following a hike last year and at this brunch location I gravitated to a booth set-up offering Vitamin B-12 injections. I wouldn't usually gravitate to a booth offering to inject me with something, especially a stranger, but there was something about this booth and the girl behind the booth's energy that called my name. We chit-chatted a bit and discovered we both had a passion for natural health and wellness. She told me she was a naturopathic doctor that specialized in women's health, hormones and libido. This really caught my attention. We ended up exchanging Insta’s and after following her posts for a few days, I knew there was a deeper reason for her crossing my path. Her specialty kept popping up in my head and I finally decided to book a consult with her to find out if she could help me figure out why at my 28 years of age I was feeling like I had hit a wall as if I was 60 years old.
This consult literally changed my life forever- it was the beginning of a healing path I didn't even know I needed. The first step towards solving my health puzzle was running a hormone panel, and when the results came back, we discovered that I had hormone levels of a menopausal woman. Estrogen... Progesterone... Testosterone.... FLAT LINED. Literally non-existent. "Below normal range" is what the results read. On one end I was like "WTF?!?! What's wrong with me?" But on another end, I felt like I was finally getting some answers.
My doctor explained that birth control could possibly be the culprit of this hormonal problem... surprisingly enough it's a common side effect of birth control, especially after long term use. I was faced with two options: 1.- attempt hormone therapy or 2.- detox the birth control, learn how to chart my cycles and commit to natural birth control (the fertility awareness method- “FAM”). I chose #2, and that was the best decision I ever made. It took months to bounce back to feeling like myself again, but I trusted the process and surely bounced back.
The timing of this pregnancy couldn’t have come at a better time… my body was finally ready for this. With the hormone levels I had a year ago, my progesterone levels were so low that even if I wanted to get pregnant then, I wouldn't have been able to stay pregnant as high progesterone levels are crucial following conception. In fact, when the doctor made me aware of this back then, it killed me a little inside. A lot actually. It scared the crap out of me because I have always wanted nothing more than to be a mom someday. I remember crying to Shaun when we left the doctor’s office and telling him how scared I was at the possibility of issues conceiving down the line, or even worse… how terrifying it would be if I was simply not able to have kids someday.
So fast forward to the present and to know that my body is strong enough and healthy enough to be carrying this baby today is the most amazing reassurance. I now know that I made the right decision by prioritizing my health and following my gut.
Now, the fact that I got pregnant while I wasn't exactly “trying” to get pregnant doesn't mean that natural birth control doesn't work... it's actually more effective than synthetic birth control if you ask me. Quite frankly it boggles my mind that they don't teach us about how our cycles work in high school and instead we get taught how to put a condom onto a banana and where the nearest Planned Parenthood to us is. If only every high school girl learned what I did from this book, we as women would feel so much more empowered about our bodies and we wouldn't be living the consequences as we grow older of being pumped up with hormones since such a young age.
The truth is you can really only get pregnant 5 or 6 days out of your cycle, and well... one of those days is exactly when we got pregnant. We knew it was one of those days and we still went FULLY for it. So much so, that the minute we found out we were pregnant we both laughed (after he carried me and threw me on the bed in excitement) and said "it was that day wasn't it?", because we both knew exactly which sex did it lol.
You hear from other women that you “just know” when you’re pregnant, and as cliché as that sounds, I seriously just knew. I’ve had the infamous scares before, but this time just I just felt it in my gut. I love to meditate, even if it’s short 5-minute breath-works here and there, and 2 days before I took a pregnancy test during a meditation session, my mind kept wandering and getting distracted. If you meditate at all, you know how common it is for the mind to wonder… all it takes is redirecting the focus back to the breath in order to get back on track. For some reason this day was different. It was extremely hard to redirect my focus anywhere else but to this lingering signal my body was sending me thinking about the possibility of being pregnant. I kept focusing on how my body felt different, my mind kept visualizing my belly and ultimately I think my mind was trying to acknowledge the legit change I was about to experience. The next day I bought a pregnancy test, and I somehow still patiently waited until the following morning to pee on it. When I did, it was an INSTANT positive. None of that 3 to 5 minute wait for results. It was instant and the feeling was one I’ll never forget. It took everything in me not to go wake up Shaun and tell him right away. I figured that it may be a little too much to process when someone wakes you from a comfy sleep lol. I waited until he woke up and got out of the shower to break the news, and the excitement was contagious from one to the other. It was genuine… the kind that puts a big smile on your face and you just can’t hide it. All day we just kept looking at eacho ther from across the room at work and smirking to one another in this secret love and excitement. And 4 pregnancy tests, and a doctor’s appt later we knew for sure: We’re doing it… we’re HAVING A BABY!!!
I still can't believe we're here. I feel so blessed and honored to have been chosen to be a mommy. I'm now going on 10 weeks and feeling like life is only getting better every day. Even through the not-so-fun pregnancy symptoms, I wouldn't trade this for the world. Knowing I'm growing life inside of me is the most incredible feeling there is. No words can ever do this feeling justice. Life seems so much clearer... so much more purposeful, and to tell the truth the timing couldn't feel more perfect after all!
Stay tuned for all the fun posts to come ahead through pregnancy and into mommyhood! I’m excited to share so much more on here and to embark on this clean-living journey so much more purposefully now that there’s more than just my own body to watch out for and protect.
Stay grateful, stay mindful,